Today makes it ten days of no contact and I feel okay. I am not sad. I'm not happy. I don't feel any emotion at all. In between these ten days, there were days I felt I could go through with it and days I just wanted to get it over with. It's been hard. … Continue reading what ifs and what nots
Maybe the problem is originally mine. Maybe the reason my life is like this is not because of my disorder but just me. Days like this, I struggle to control my mind. I struggle to look away from relief. Yet I can't because I don't want to hurt anybody. I go insane slowly. I don't … Continue reading maybe it’s me.
I learned from a young age to be assertive and not aggressive (most times, no matter how assertive I am, people refused to listen and take heed. So, I went aggressive a couple of times). I was born a really sensitive person and I didn't really like to disappoint people, so I said yes a … Continue reading No Was A War Crime
These days, I find it so hard to sit still. And my mind makes it even harder. It starts at one and ends up at a million and one thoughts. It's being going on like this for years; I don't think it takes a rest when I fall asleep. I have tried to stop thinking … Continue reading Running Away From Myself
It's been 4 days since we were last in contact. I've had long nights but these are longer. I'm up still trying to understand what went on and why it did. Every moment drags me back to where I'm torn in between love and pain. Original Picture by Altınay Dinç. Edit by CN Count: R1D1